2010 in a Psalm

This Psalm has come to mean so much to me over the past year, and it really just describes the year perfectly.

Psalm 30

I will exalt you, O LORD,
   for you lifted me out of the depths
   and did not let my enemies gloat over me.
 O LORD my God, I called to you for help
   and you healed me.
O LORD, you brought me up from the grave;
   you spared me from going down into the pit.

Sing to the LORD, you saints of his;
   praise his holy name.
For his anger lasts only a moment,
   but his favor lasts a lifetime;
weeping may remain for a night,
   but rejoicing comes in the morning.

When I felt secure, I said,
   “I will never be shaken.”
O LORD, when you favored me,
   you made my mountain stand firm;
but when you hid your face,
   I was dismayed.

To you, O LORD, I called;
   to the Lord I cried for mercy:
 “What gain is there in my destruction,
   in my going down into the pit?
Will the dust praise you?
   Will it proclaim your faithfulness?
Hear, O LORD, and be merciful to me;
   O LORD, be my help.”

You turned my wailing into dancing;
   you removed my sackcloth and clothed me with joy,
that my heart may sing to you and not be silent.
   O LORD my God, I will give you thanks forever. 

Broken Heart

A broken heart means so much pain,
I don't want these tears again.
It seems that I have so oft' known
The loss of a friend.
But You are walking with me,
And you teach me as we go.
And so I kneel before You and I know...

If a broken heart means I'm softer towards you,
If a broken heart means I'm clinging to you,
If a broken heart means I understand your heart,
Then Lord, I thank You for my broken heart.

~Tya

Fear

Psalm 46:1-2,  & 10

God is our refuge and strength,

an ever-present help in trouble.

Therefore we will not fear, though the earth give way

and the mountains fall into the heart of the sea.

Be still, and know that I am God;

I will be exalted among the

nations,

I will be exalted in the earth." 

Psalm 56:3-4

When I am afraid,

I will trust in you.

 In God, whose word I praise,

in God I trust; I will not be afraid.

What can mortal man do to me?

2 Tim 1:7

For God did not give us a spirit of fear, but a spirit of power, of love and of self-discipline.

1 John 4:18

There is no fear in love. But

perfect love drives out fear,

because fear has to do with

punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love.

Isaiah 41:10&13

So do not fear, for I am with you;

do not be dismayed, for I am your God.

I will strengthen you and help you;

I will uphold you with my

righteous right hand.

For I am the LORD, your God,

who takes hold of your right hand

and says to you, Do not fear;

I will help you.

Isaiah 43:1-3

Fear not, for I have redeemed you;

I have summoned you by name; you are mine.

When you pass through the waters,

I will be with you;

and when you pass through the

 rivers,

they will not sweep over you.

When you walk through the fire,

you will not be burned;

the flames will not set you ablaze.

For I am the LORD, your God,

the Holy One of Israel, your Savior.

 

An Explanation

Due to some technical difficulties, I haven't been able to post for a while, but it appears as if we're back on track!

Throw another log on the fire...

Sometimes I feel like the passion in my heart is burning low, the flame is dying down, and my heart's getting cold. Life gets busy, nights get long, mornings get late, and time with God gets short and hurried. Then I start to wonder why I don't feel excited about God. Several weeks ago I was feeling this, and I finally just sat down before God and asked Him to help me see why it was happening. I asked Him to make the fire in my heart burn for Him. It felt like it was just coals. He showed me that our relationship with Him  really is like a fire. You can light a fire, but to keep it going you have to feed it. You have to add more wood. I realized that the reason I felt so distant from God was because I hadn't been feeding my fire. I hadn't been throwing on the logs of concentrated prayer, Bible study, and worship. Now when I start to get distracted and I start to feel like something is lacking, I remember...I've just got to throw another log on the fire.

A New York Summary from Mom

“Not unto us, not unto us, O Lord, but unto Your name give glory.”

“Wow! Wow! Wow!  What a gift the past 5 weeks in Elmhurst, Queens, New York City was to us.  Our stay at the Missions Training Center (MTC) has been a truly life-changing experience.  I can’t begin to tell here all the ways that our Perspective has changed (and you probably don’t want me to try), but I will attempt to give a small glimpse of our time in NYC in the next few days.   We had hoped to update more while actually in NYC, but we were VERY busy with classes, homework, and outreach. 

            The first aspect I’ll attempt to describe is the aspect of our hours spent in training at MTC/Life in Christ Menn. Church.  The highlight of every day was morning worship, and although it was not a “class,” it was here that I was impacted the most.  I believe the most important thing that God taught me (if you can actually narrow it down to that) is how to pray. Bros. Bob Miller and Henry Blank simply modeled for us by leading meaningful times of corporate worship and prayer, and then the guys each led occasionally, too, which made a nice variety.  Bro. Bob made the statement early on in our time at the MTC, “If Jesus called His house a ‘House of Prayer,’ why is so little time spent in corporate prayer in our regular worship services?” For me, that thought has really unsettled my idea of “church”. Our worship of 50 min daily was aimed at spending about half of our time in prayer. Life-giving, life-changing, humbling, God-seeking, people-caring prayer. Sometimes alone, more often in groups of 2-3, sometimes on our knees, sometimes praying only from the Word of God. Precious.  Along with that, was the truth woven throughout many classes that all great revivals are preceded by and accompanied by a serious movement of prayer. The bottom line—if God’s people wish to be involved in His work we must begun in His presence.                         

            What about the actual classes? Well, the core of the 5-wk program is Hawthorne’s Perspectives on the World Christian Movement. We used the study guide and the reader by the same name. In this study I learned that God’s desire from the beginning was to us His chosen people to draw all nations to worship Him (we Gentiles were not Plan B). I never realized how often in the OT there are references to “all nations” (“the world,” etc.), beginning with the promise to Abraham, and spoken in all the rest of Scripture (check it out sometime). My perspective was changed in that instead of seeing a “normal, growing” church as the goal, our goal should be to be reproducing churches. New thought! “The Supremacy of Christ,” “Witnessing,” Spiritual Gifts, “Team Relations and Conflict Resolution,” –each class challenged and equipped us!  Add to the great content, the fact that the teachers were former missionaries and pastors.  They have been in so many unique situations—just eating lunch with them was educational! 

            Yeah, we sure had our expectations met and surpassed.  I’m so thankful to those who had the vision to make a place where lay people can be trained to work in the place God has called them.  Another day I hope to share more about the Outreach times and the cross-cultural experience of living among 140 different languages and ethnicities.  Again, our thanks to those of you who sent us and prayed for us. 

Outreach

 Visiting a Mosque

 

The Jewish Synagogue on a holiday celebrating the Law.

  

Sharing testimonies on the Subway.

Classes

Home.

Such a nice word and such a lovely place to be. Pictures and recap coming soon!

Second Week Of Mission Training

Here we are at the beginning of the third week here at the MTC! This past week has been enjoyable and challenging as we delved into our studies. Since we finished linguistics last week, we started in on our actual mission courses this week. We began working on the Perspectives in Christian Missions course that we started on studying before coming. It is a little difficult keeping up with the classes, but we've been learning some  life and method changing concepts. We have also had some courses on witnessing and other practical things.  We especially appreciated Alan Roth's church planting classes. This weekend us girls visited Times Square and our family went to Central Park. We are all so glad we came. We've been learning so much and we have only finished two weeks!  Please continue to keep us in your prayers as time ticks down for finishing our assignments.

To Die For Christ

I say I am willing to die for Christ..but am I really? Am I willing to go through the death of a friendship by moving to a mission field with no way to keep in touch? Am I willing to go through the death of my dreams? Am I willing to really and truly die to myself? Dying for Christ is not just something that can happen to our physical bodies. Am I truly ready to die for Christ?

Yes, Jesus, I will die for You.

First Week at Mission Training Center, NYC

Well here we are at the beginning of our second week! Our first week has been relatively smooth. The first day was a bit of a struggle(I figured out why they call culture shock, culture shock=), but after our introduction to the city in the afternoon it has actually been fun. Unfortunately, our camera's USB cord did not get brought along, so pictures will have to wait till we get back. Most of our classes last week were linguistics, since the teacher left for Bangladesh. That was a little heavy, but we survived  the classes, learned a lot, and enjoyed the street assignments very much. I must say that the afternoon assignments out on the streets are my daily highlights. It is like another country in here! Literally--the whites are the minority, the English speakers are a minority, and many of the buildings have writing of another language on them. We have quite a study load, so we would appreciate your prayers as we go through that. Also please pray for physical wellness and strength. We are are all tired and I am struggling with back, neck, and head pain --not a good thing when we are walking around 2 hours every day, often carrying heavy backpacks. Otherwise, we are are doing great! Thank you all for your prayes and support!

The only way to find significance is by living for something greater than ourselves. -Bob Miller

It is when you turn your eyes towards others, that you learn the most about yourself.

We're here!!

We are in New York City! Whoever called it a concrete jungle named it apptly. This place is huge! Today we had our first classes in linguistics, an orientation to city life, and then we went out on the streets to get aquainted with the city. My group walked through most of Queens looking for live eel and longan fruit. Parts of the city are like they are in another country. For two hours we did not see another white person! My room mates are great, the other students are wonderful, and I know we are going to learn sooo much in the next few weeks!

For those of you that don't know, my family is in NYC for five weeks at the DestiNATIONS International Missions Training Center. It is basically Mission Bible School. All DNI missionaries go through this "orientation" before going on the mission field, and any one else that wants to be a more effective missionary also may go through the classes. We are in the classroom most of the day, and then out on the streets from 3-5 every evening!  Please pray for us as we learn and minister here!

143,000,000 Orphans

1st Day of School Pictures

Pictures from our first day of school, which also happens to be my last first day of school!

This Psalm brought tears to my eyes last night as I read it.  My God is faithful!

As the deer pants for streams of water,
       so my soul pants for you, O God.

My soul thirsts for God, for the living God.
       When can I go and meet with God?

My tears have been my food
       day and night,
       while men say to me all day long,
       "Where is your God?"

These things I remember
       as I pour out my soul:
       how I used to go with the multitude,
       leading the procession to the house of God,
       with shouts of joy and thanksgiving
       among the festive throng.

Why are you downcast, O my soul?
       Why so disturbed within me?
       Put your hope in God,
       for I will yet praise him,
       my Savior and my God.
       My soul is downcast within me;
       therefore I will remember you
       from the land of the Jordan,
       the heights of Hermon—from Mount Mizar.

Deep calls to deep
       in the roar of your waterfalls;
       all your waves and breakers
       have swept over me.

By day the LORD directs his love,
       at night his song is with me—
       a prayer to the God of my life.

I say to God my Rock,

"Why have you forgotten me?

Why must I go about mourning,
       oppressed by the enemy?"

My bones suffer mortal agony
       as my foes taunt me,
       saying to me all day long,
       "Where is your God?"

Why are you downcast, O my soul?
       Why so disturbed within me?
       Put your hope in God,
       for I will yet praise him,
       my Savior and my God.

Psalm 42

Whiter Than Snow

Lord Jesus, I long to be perfectly whole;
I want Thee forever to live in my soul.
Break down every idol, cast out every foe;
Now wash me, and I shall be whiter than snow.

Whiter than snow, yes, whiter than snow.
Now wash me, and I shall be whiter than snow.

Lord Jesus, let nothing unholy remain,
Apply Thine own blood and extract ev'ry stain;
To get this blest cleansing, I all things forego—
Now wash me, and I shall be whiter than snow.

Whiter than snow, yes, whiter than snow.
Now wash me, and I shall be whiter than snow.

Lord Jesus, look down from Thy throne in the skies,
And help me to make a complete sacrifice.
I give up myself, and whatever I know,
Now wash me, and I shall be whiter than snow.

Whiter than snow, yes, whiter than snow.
Now wash me, and I shall be whiter than snow.

Lord Jesus, for this I most humbly entreat,
I wait, blessèd Lord, at Thy crucified feet.
By faith, for my cleansing, I see Thy blood flow,
Now wash me, and I shall be whiter than snow.

Whiter than snow, yes, whiter than snow.
Now wash me, and I shall be whiter than snow.

Lord Jesus, Thou seest I patiently wait,
Come now, and within me a new heart create;
To those who have sought Thee, Thou never saidst "No,"
Now wash me, and I shall be whiter than snow.
 

Whiter than snow, yes, whiter than snow.
Now wash me, and I shall be whiter than snow.

The blessing by faith, I receive from above;
O glory! my soul is made perfect in love;
My prayer has prevailed, and this moment I know,
The blood is applied, I am whiter than snow.

           
Whiter than snow, yes, whiter than snow.
Now wash me, and I shall be whiter than snow.

Only Jesus

If anyone sees any good thing in me,

If anyone says I'm somebody they'd like to be,

And if someone follows me,

Before we go to far,

Jesus I'll tell them I am what You are.

'Cause it would mean so much to me,

If You're the only One they see,

If my life doesn't show You, 

I know I'm living in vain.

If my life doesn't show You,

May they never know my name.

~If Anyone Sees, by Steve Chapman

Smiles

You ask me why I smile this way,

I really can't recall a reason why.

It's just that I'm so happy today;

I've got such joy inside.

Ever since I started givin' everything to my King,

All my life has been so blessed, 

Makes me wanna sing!

I really can't explain it, 

Sure can't describe it.

All I know to tell you is this--

The joy of the Lord is my strength,

He gave me beauty for the ashes I had worn,

He turned my mourning into dancing all around for joy!

Oh I guess, that this smile just might show 

What His love does for me!

They say the outside always shows

The things that are inside of your heart.

I pray that what Your are seein' 

Is the love of Christ abidin' in me.

He's changed my life so wonderf'ly,

Gave a song to my heart and 

Dance to my feet!

I Really Can't Explain it, 

Sure can't describe it.

All I know to tell you is this--

The joy of the Lord is my strength,

He gave me beauty for the ashes I had worn,

He turned my mourning into dancing all around for joy!

Oh I guess, that this smile just might show 

What His love does for me!

Oh I know, that this smile could never show

All His love means to me!

Some new choruses...

Some new choruses that Jesus gave me...

Sonshine

Fill me with sonshine,

Fill me with joy,

Let my life sing the song 

Of Your love, Oh God.

Fill me with sonshine,

Put Your love in my eyes,

I want to shine your light, Oh God,

So fill me with sonshine.

Can I be Your Smile?

I'll be Your hands, Lord,

I'll be Your feet,

I'll be the one to help the poor and weak,

But when I'm your hands, Lord,

And while I'm Your feet,

Could I just please be one more thing?

Can I be Your smile?

More of You, Less of Me

     We had a great Sunday School lesson this morning on 2 Timothy 4. The part that really stuck out to me was verse eight. Paul has just finished saying how he has fought the good fight, and then he goes on to say that "[T]here is in store for me the crown of righteousness, which the Lord, the righteous Judge, will award to me on that day--not only to me, but also to all who have longed for his appearing." Our SS teacher asked us to consider how we can obtain that crown of righteousness and the thoughts that followed were very challenging. Paul said that he and those who were receiving the crown of life longed for the appearing of Christ. Honestly looking at myself, I can see that I don't long for the appearance of Christ. I'm not afraid of Christ's coming, but I am not longing for it. I thought about the reasons that I don't long for the appearing of Christ. I love my life here too much. I love my family and my friends. I hold onto the life I live, not realizing the life that Christ offers me. I've been so challenged in this area lately.  Luke 14:26 says that "If you want to be my disciple, you must hate everyone else by comparison--your father and mother, wife and children, brothers and sisters--yes, even your own life. Otherwise, you cannot be my disciple."(NLT) My love for God is to be so superior to everything else in my life, that my love for other things(my friends, my family, etc.) should look like hate in comparison to my love for God. I've been so convicted the past two weeks, realizing that I do not have that kind of love for God. I am a relational person. I thrive on relationships. I love my friends and family deeply, and I cling to my relationships with them. I've realized however, that I have been clinging too much. It's taken some loosing of my fingers by God to make me realize this. Some very painful loosening. 

     I desperately desire for my love for God to be everything to me. I want my love for God to be so superior to my love for other things that my love for them looks like hate. I want that.  But how do I get there?? How do I become consumed by Christ and Christ alone? I don't know the answer. All I can do is seek Him. Jesus, I want to love You more!

I have felt the winter snow,
 Seen the beauty of a rose.
Sat by many fires,
And enjoyed the warmth of friends.
I've known love 
And it's embrace,
 Have felt the wind 
Against my face.
Watched the moon at midnight 
Shine upon a sleeping world

But, it's been the rain,
 I'ts been the storms,
It's been the days 
When I've been worn,
That I have found You, Lord,
That I have found You, Father.
 It's in the pain,
That I have grown,
Through all the sorrow
I have known.
So, if that's what it takes
 For You to lead me this far,
 Go ahead and break my heart.*

Jesus, all for Jesus

All I am and have 

And ever hope to be.

All for Jesus.*

*Break My Heart by Kathy Troccoli and Jesus, All For Jesus by Robin Mark.

Make Time

 Make Time

The little boy ran to his Dad one day,

A ball in his hand, 

He wanted to play. 

His Dad shook his head,

"I can't right now.

I just don't have the time."

Make time for the little moments in life,

Play ball with your kids,

Or dance with your wife.

You'll never know what

You may have missed in life

Just because you didn't have time.

The little boy grew to be a man,

Never knowin' the love of his Dad,

Now to his wife and kids does he say,

"I just don't have the time."

Make time for the little moments in life,

For a hug from your kids,

Or a kiss from your wife.

You'll never know what

You may have missed in life,

Just because you didn't have time.

You'll never know what

You may have missed in your life,

Just because you didn't make time.

Make time.

~TanyaBeth

The Rose--Because some things can only be said in a song.

Praise in the Pain

No matter what happens,

I will praise His name!

I will always thank Him,

even if this is goodbye.

I will always trust Him,

knowing He has my best in mind.

No matter what happens to you and I,

I will praise my God!

My Heart Spilled

     Warning: This post became much longer than I originally intended. It's really long, but I would love it if you would read it. It is the foundation for everything else that I write on this blog. This is my heart spilled.

I'm sitting at the computer making graduation invitations. It's hitting me. I'm sixteen. I'm graduating. This fall. The goal I've been working towards for as long as I can remember is soon going to be completed. And then what? With no school to do...what will I do? Everyone keeps asking me what I will do next...and I don't know what to tell them. I learned the hard way not to make plans on my own(James 4:13-16). As of yet, the Lord hasn't really said, "Hey, this is what's next!" I go day by day, walking in His will and trust that He will show me day by day the choices I should make, but until the next big choice comes along, what do I do? I struggle with knowing who I am. Everyone I know has something that defines them. They are seamstresses, they are cowboys, they are tomboys, they are scrapbookers, they are gardeners, they are something. Me? I don't fit in with the girly-girls--I don't sew, cook, or garden for my enjoyment. I really don't have any hobbies--well, except for reading. Do you know how that sounds? "So what do you do?" "Well, um, I read." It's not that there aren't other things that I don't enjoy...I just don't have the opportunity to do them. Everyone thinks I'm a calm, demure, girly-girl. Ha. Haha. Hahahahaha. Okay, you get the picture. I actually love getting dirty. I love my boots. I enjoy hard work. Fixing fence is really fun. Seriously. I really enjoy it. Working cows is fun. Pigs..well, not quite fun, but better than nothing. I totally love four-wheeler riding. Horses are heaven. There's one problem. The fence doesn't need to be fixed that often. Cows need to be worked maybe for an hour a month. My four-wheeler is broken. God asked me to give Him my horse. So even the things I know I enjoy and am good at, I don't really get to do that often. So I really can't count them as what defines me.
     This spring I was planning on getting a horse. I saved and saved and saved. Finally, I could afford it. I dreamed and dreamed. This was the horse that I had prayed for, hoped for, loved, and longed for. I even knew what I would name it--Sonrisa(Sonny for short), the Spanish for smile, which also looks really amazingly like sunrise(Which is my brand, by the way--Sonrise Savanna).  This was more than a horse, however. I planned to spend hours with Sonny. I'd ride him every day I was home, rain or shine. I read all sorts of material on horse language and training. I wanted to accomplish something. I was setting a goal of spending time with him every day and I planned to stick to it. I wanted to show myself and everyone else that I could do it. I now realize that Sonny was also going to give me an identity. I was going to be a horsewoman. So when people asked me, "So what do you do?" I could say, "I spend time with my horse." All this to say, Sonny was very important to me, before I ever bought him. Which, I didn't.
     In February, God started tapping on the doors of my secret places, asking me to let Him have full control. First, it was my desire to marry and have a family. It started with Katie. Reading her story was convicting and challenging. It caused me to think, "Jesus, would I be willing and able to give up everything I had hoped for for You?" I sat in the Aldi's parking lot and cried as I told God that if He asked me to, I would give it all up. The next weeks were challenging as I read Leslie Ludy's articles and felt God tugging on my heart. I was getting scared that maybe God would ask me to never get married. It really, really, scared me to think about that.
     One evening near the beginning of March, I had some long conversations with friends talking about this very thing. The next morning I spent quite a while talking with God and questioning whether I could really live my whole life without a man by my side. Through a time of prayer and tears, God assured me that He would always be by my side and would be everything I needed. With tears pouring down my cheeks, I surrendered my dream of marriage and family to God. After I surrendered my heart's desires, God confirmed it in so many ways. Through songs(like "Break my Heart" by Kathy Troccoli), scripture(Like Matthew 10:37-39), and other ways, He brought peace to my heart. Then He took my freshly surrendered heart and began to do wonderful things with it. I started suddenly hearing about His heart for the poor and orphans and my responsibility to them. God began bringing them to my attention in very obvious ways. I could see Him asking me to reach out to them, I just didn't know how. God made it possible for us to go to a conference on doing the dirty jobs, which only impressed on me the things He was saying even more. 
     Several days after the Transform conference, I began to read Leslie Ludy's books and listen to David Platt's sermon series on radical living. By now I'm sure you're wondering what all this has to do with my identity and Sonny. Don't worry, I am going somewhere with all of this. As I listened to the first sermon in the Radical series, God gently but firmly began to nudge my heart. At first, I tried to ignore the small voice as just my imagination running wild. God wouldn't ask me to do that. No way. Of course not. I couldn't ignore it. God made a very clear impression on me that I needed to take the money I had been saving for Sonny and the money I would have used every week to feed him and use it for the Lord instead. I cried and pleaded with God to ask me to give anything but my horse. This was my horse. (I know this might be a little hard for some to understand, but this might put it in perspective. As I talked with a very good friend a few days after this, she said, "You know, I think you giving God your horse is about like if I would have to break up with a boyfriend, " to which I cried, "He was going to be my boyfriend!") However, as much as I did not want to give up Sonny, I did not want to be like the rich young ruler who "went away sad" because he did not want to give everything. I knew that this was what God was asking me to do, and, by His grace and strength, I obeyed. I cried..and cried. For a couple days I fell prey to Satan's trap of self-pity. Then God showed me where I was wrong and I began to look for good in the situation and to pray for wisdom on how to use God's money. As I surrendered all of myself to God once again, He brought me joy and peace. He touched my  heart, and made me able to thank Him for taking Sonny.
     My faith was at a new level. Practical. Painful. Real. Worth every minute of it. I began to realize what it meant to truly give everything I had. The words, "Take my silver and my gold, not a mite would I withhold," suddenly were real.
     The effects of giving God my Sonrisa were far-reaching. Without him, I am much more available and easy for God to use than if I would have spent the money and time on my horse. And now, I have nothing I can find my identity in. Nothing. (Told you I was going somewhere with this story. =) I realized that I was trying to find my identity in Sonny and that perhaps that was one reason God took him away. I now have only one choice. I must find my identity in Jesus Christ. He is now all I have and am. The things I am passionate about are the things He is passionate about. When I have free time, instead of riding my horse I spend my time learning more about Christ. He has given me such an amazing joy each day and I can't begin to tell you how much I love Him! As I let go of my desire for an identity that I could create and instead find my identity in my Savior and Prince, I find that I have never been so fulfilled and on fire! When Jesus defines me, it is so freeing! I do not have to live up to an image. Jesus is my life!
     So I guess I've answered my own question. I suppose that was really the purpose of writing this. I needed to sort my thoughts out. So what will I do?

This is what I seek:
       that I may dwell in the house of the LORD
       all the days of my life,
       to gaze upon the beauty of the LORD
       and to seek him in his temple. 

Psalm 27:4

I will seek my Jesus. I will let Him shape me. I will let Him live through me. My life is no longer my own, I am bought with a price. Therefore, I will seek to glorify God with every breath that I take and to day by day walk in His will. I do not know what the future holds, although I have some ideas. I do know, however, that Jesus will show me each day what I should do. I will live in Jesus. 

Oh yes, their names are Sarah and Irene. They live in Uganda. They are orphans that now have three meals a day, an education, and someone to show them God's love. The opportunity to give them that does not even compare with feeding a horse. Their priceless faces are more beautiful than my Sonny could have ever been. ♥

Bravehearted Thots

   I came across these videos on the Ellerslie website and couldn't believe how they fell in line so well with what God has laid on my heart lately. If you get a chance, watch the other videos on the website as well.
Bravehearted Thots
   

Whoa.

 Ezekiel 16:49
"Now this was the sin of your sister Sodom: She and her daughters were arrogant, overfed and unconcerned; they did not help the poor and needy."
This is me. This is you. My church. Your church. This is our country. Lord, have mercy on us.

I was so excited to find this verse as I read Wrestling Prayer by Eric and Leslie Ludy Saturday evening. God promises that if I seek Him with my whole heart that I will find Him!! That is such an exciting thought!!

Life Changing Resources

I would like to encourage all of you to check out some of these amazing resources. God has used these greatly to literally change my life in the past few months.
Katie's Story--Katie Davis is a modern day Amy Carmichael living in Uganda with 14 adopted daughters.She began Amazima Ministries in 2008 and now has an amazing ministry among the people there. Her story was the catalyst that God used to stir a fire in my heart. Read it. Let it challenge you. Then consider helping Katie. I just received pictures of the children I sponsor through Amazima, and it touched my heart. Those precious, precious, faces. The sweet twelve year old orphan who wrote and told me over and over again that she would do her best in school,  that she would do her best to make me glad that I sponsored her, and that she loved me so much. I love what Katie is doing and I am so glad to be a part of it.
The Radical Series by David Platt--This sermon series has changed my life. As I listened, God brought to my mind things that I needed to give up for Him. I didn't want to. I tried to ignore it, but I couldn't. I am so glad I listened. God knew exactly what He was doing.He has used the implications of these sermons to change my life in a radical way. Listen to them. Let them challenge you. Let it change you.
Eric and Leslie Ludy's Set-Apart Life Ministry-- Eric and Leslie's books have also changed my life. On Leslie's website she shares this as the message of her ministry: "God’s sacred intent for us goes far beyond adding some Christian morality to our self-indulgent lives. His intent for you and me is nothing short of absolute abandonment to Jesus Christ, entire separation from the pollution of the world, and ardent worship of our Lord with every breath we take." Their ministry has kindled a desire in me to live for God holding absolutely nothing back. For a starting place, check out their websites and read their articles and blogs, listen to their messages, and check out the online magazine. Some good books to start with are these:
For girls:
Set Apart Femininity
The Lost Art of True Beauty
Sacred Singleness
For guys:
God's Gift To Women
For everyone:
Wrestling Prayer(This is a must read for every Christian!)
When God Writes Your Life Story

Coupled with the Lord's hand in my life, these resources have quite literally radically changed my life. Will you allow the Lord the opportunity to use them in your life?

I don't wanna go through the motions,
I don't wanna go one more day,
without Your all consuming passion inside of me!
I don't wanna spend my whole life asking,
"What if I had given everything,
instead of going through the motions?"

My Purpose

My purpose as a human being is to love the Lord my God with all my heart, soul, and mind, and to glorify and worship Him with every breath that I take. I am called to die to myself and to let my life be hidden in Christ, to be His ambassador to a sinful world, to be pure and undefiled before God, and to ardently pursue Hi kingdom with everything that is within me. I am to be dead to the world and alive to Christ alone. I am to long for His approval alone and not the applause of the world. My purpose is to know Jesus Christ as the Lord of my Life and for Him to be my All in all.

I am really thanking Jesus that the weather forecast was wrong today. My sister, 'brothers', and I were planning on a trail ride this afternoon...and the forecast looked very gloomy. I'd really been looking forward to it, so I was pretty dissapointed when thunderstorms were predicted all afternoon. Against all odds, and a 85% chance of precipitation, it amazingly did not rain and we had a blast! Who can say that my Jesus does not care about the little things?

All for Jesus

 

Jesus, all for Jesus,

All I am and have and ever hope to be.

 

All of my ambitions hopes and plans, 

I surrender these into Your hands.

For it's only in Your will that I am free!

Jesus, All for Jesus. 

All I am and have and ever hope to be.

This song just says so perfectly what is on my heart. (If you've never heard it, be sure to listen to it in the sidebar!) This is what I desperately want. For Jesus Christ to be King of my heart, Captain of my Ship, Commander and Holder of my dreams. For the Lord of my world to be Lord of my thoughts, my dreams, my songs, my smiles. I want to be totally preoccupied with Him, filled with the knowledge of His presence at all times, and bursting with His joy. How do I find this?? How does this become reality? Jesus, show me!

Psalm 34:1-5
I will extol the LORD at all times;
his praise will always be on my lips. My soul will boast in the LORD;
let the afflicted hear and rejoice. Glorify the LORD with me;
let us exalt his name together. I sought the LORD, and he answered me;
he delivered me from all my fears. 

Those who look to him are radiant;
their faces are never covered with shame.

I went on a walk today and looked up at the huge azure sky. It was such a deep, pure, blue; you would never know that last night it was such a frightening color of green. A song has been going through my head all day..."Thank you Lord, for your blessings on me!" I love seeing my God's hand in all the things around me. The more that I see Him around me, the more I realize His great mercy in touching my life. I'm searching through some great puzzling questions at this stage in my life. What is God's purpose for my life? What does my future hold? Why did He give me(or not give me) certain talents and abilities? One thing I know: If such a great and awesome God would care to die for me, to love me, to touch my life so amazingly, and to bless me so incredibly, how can I give Him anything less than all of myself? How can I be concerned with anything but Him? That leads me to then ask what it means for me to live my life completely abandoned to Jesus; to be completely obsessed with Him, to live only for Him. What does that look like? This is what I want to know. This is what I seek.

Psalm 27:4 , 8
One thing I ask of the LORD,
this is what I seek:
that I may dwell in the house of the LORD
all the days of my life,
to gaze upon the beauty of the LORD
and to seek him in his temple.

My heart says of you, "Seek his face!"
Your face, LORD, I will seek.

Broken and Spilled Out

 This is the song that my blog is named after. To listen you will need to pause the music in the sidebar. Be sure to listen to the wonderful songs there as well!

A Heart for God

I was amazed once again today at God's impeccable timing. This message came on the radio just as I hopped in my car to come home from work, and, due to the need to go out of my way, it finished just before I got home. It was exactly what I needed to hear. I hope you get the chance to listen to this message by Jack Graham called "A Heart For God." It was very encouraging and inspiring. Powerpoint Ministries

Barnyard Adventure

Today I got to spend the day with my bestest friends. I love it that I can call my sister one of my bestest friends. 'Specialy after all those years of thinking we could never be friends, much less best friends. I love that gal. =) Anyhow, I got to spend the day volunteering at Lifeline(the Crisis Pregnancy Clinic) and hanging out with Mel and Ann. A photo session has been due for a while, since Mom gave me a coupon for free pictures for my birthday. Ann's family rents a picture perfect barn for their horses, so we headed out there to snap a few.

1 Chronicles 4. Check it out.

Hi, this is me.

Hi, this is me! Sometimes Facebook just doesn't have enough room to say what is in my heart or on my mind, so I decided to start this blog. It's not really what I'm used to, so it make take a little. =) But anyway, here I am! ~TanyaBeth